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  #21  
Old 31st January 2006, 08:12 AM
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Shane Shane is offline
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Default Re: Jokes from another site

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul Barker
"Stay away from Plymouth"
My friend was genuinely terrified. "Is there going to be an attack?" she asked him.
"No ... ", he whispered back...... "It's a f* cking sh* t hole

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg
This joke being a good way of dealing with a spoof email that has been doing the rounds in various and similar make-up. The original threat is untrue and should be ignored.

However, it is totally right that we should all be vigilent at all times, particularly when we are in public spaces.

Best wishes,

Greg
Wise words, Greg, but there is another bit of sound wisdom in Paul's joke.

Stay away from Plymouth, it really is a f*****g s***hole.

Take it from one who lives there.
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  #22  
Old 1st February 2006, 01:37 PM
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petercom petercom is offline
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Default Re: Jokes from another site

But, Shane, you don't live there, you live in a nice part of the South Hams countryside!

But I do, generally, agree, though I can think of worse places in the world, and the Hoe and Barbican area has some good attributes especially since they've rescued the cracked and corroded concrete swimming pool.
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  #23  
Old 1st February 2006, 03:18 PM
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Shane Shane is offline
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Default Re: Jokes from another site

Quite right, and a good thing too, but if I bang on long enough about that blot on the landscape 10 miles away, someone might take it away. Channel 4 want to demolish the Civic Centre on my suggestion, so who knows...
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  #24  
Old 1st February 2006, 08:07 PM
Black Stuart Black Stuart is offline
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Cool Re: Jokes from another site

I lived in Devonport/Plymouth for a year in 52 when I was 7, I thought it a great place. Especially the Hoe which when dusk fell, the biggest rats I have ever seen in my life came out to feed and play - and I mean big as small dogs. Perhaps that is why they used to make the rocks and swimming pool a no go area at night - oh did I forget to mention the enormous spiders.

So you think Plymouth is bad - forget it - try Rotterdam, now that really is one of the most execrable places on the face of the planet.

Black Stuart
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  #25  
Old 1st February 2006, 08:28 PM
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Paul Barker Paul Barker is offline
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Default Re: Jokes from another site

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
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  #26  
Old 1st February 2006, 08:31 PM
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Paul Barker Paul Barker is offline
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Default Re: Jokes from another site

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to
go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and
then washes his hands. He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands
again.



The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."



The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?"



"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."



One thing led to another and they make love. After they are done, the girl
says, "You must be a good dentist."



The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, how did you
figure that out?"



The girl says, "I didn't feel a thing."
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  #27  
Old 2nd February 2006, 02:07 PM
FoxJT FoxJT is offline
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Default Re: Jokes from another site

Some quickies!

1) Did you hear about the plastic surgeon who sat in front of a fire? He melted!

2) With a bucket of apples you can have a whale of a time with the doctor's wife!

3) Did you hear about the guy who couldn't tell the difference between incest and arson? He set fire to his sister!

4)
There once was a girl from Devizes,
Who had t*ts of different sizes.
One was small
and did nothing at all.
The other was HUGE and won prizes!
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  #28  
Old 2nd February 2006, 03:40 PM
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Mister Circle Mister Circle is offline
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Default Re: Jokes from another site

These are getting bad!

This woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what?

You have been with me through all the bad times.

When I got fired, you were there to support me.

When my business failed, you were there.

When I got shot, you were by my side.

When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

When my health started failing, you were still by my side . . . You know what?"

"What dear", she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."
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  #29  
Old 5th February 2006, 08:52 PM
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Paul Barker Paul Barker is offline
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Default Re: Jokes from another site

I think that last one is close to home for many people.

"How many health and safety officers does it take to change a lightbulb? None - it's too dangerous."
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  #30  
Old 6th February 2006, 02:06 AM
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BOONDI BOONDI is offline
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Default Re: Jokes from another site

A stunning redhead walks into her doctors surgery saying im in agony over my whole body.
The doctor says "well miss you managed to walk in here without any problems"
The red head replies "But when I touch my head it hurts real bad" and she proceeds to poke at her head and scream like a banshee. Then she prods herself in the chest, stomach, thigh, calf, ankle and foot with the same amount of agonised squeeling.....

After a moments thought the doctor says to her "I think I know what the problem is, you arent a natural red head are you?....Your a blonde with a broken finger.......
__________________
Who am I? Just another concerned citizen....

ONE LOVE
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